Hope Dies Last
by AgiVega
Summary: Spoilers from The Opal Deception. Holly reflects on certain tragic events. Some Artemis-Holly. One-shot.


**Disclaimer**: the characters are Colfer's, not mine.

**Author's note**: THIS FIC CONTAINS SPOILERS FROM THE OPAL DECEPTION. You have been warned. Also, don't expect a plot this time, this fic is only about feelings. Things I had to write out of myself after I finished reading the new book (that made me very sad and depressed). Bad Eoin, very bad Eoin!  
Thanks to Michael for the beta.

**Author's note on 30th April, 2005:** there were some lyrics in this chapter that I deleted to satisfy ffnet's admins.

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Hope dies last

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by AgiVega

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"It's so strange…" Holly muttered, her eyes distant.

"What's strange?" Artemis asked, casting a sideways glance at the fairy. She seemed to be gazing at the river but he was sure she was not really taking in the sight. There were times when you were just staring but not seeing, listening but not hearing. A typically human state, but apparently it could happen to fairies as well.

"That it happened almost two years ago," she replied, her voice barely a whisper. Sunlight was dancing on the river's surface, pretending to be thousands of diamonds swaying on the waves. Normally Holly would have called it beautiful, would have revelled in the rare opportunity to see the above ground nature in its glory, but not now.

Tough elf or not, the first female LEP captain or not, private detective or not, she was still prone to sentimentality. But could one rightly call her sentimental for missing someone who had been a second father to her? Could anyone blame her for the waves of sadness that occasionally still washed over her?

"Oh…" was all the boy could comment. When he had agreed with the elf to meet her for a friendly picnic (this wasn't the first time they had had one, sometimes even Mulch and Butler joined in such outdoors get-togethers), he hadn't expected her to mention what happened almost two years ago. Not that he had forgotten it - how could he? It had been one of the worst situations he had ever been in, and he knew that it was even harder for Holly - losing her Commander and quitting her job. Quitting what made her _her_. She had always tried to keep up the facade of a happy and carefree elf, one who was enjoying her new job and was content with her partnership with the dwarf, but perhaps Artemis alone could see through this pretence. He could see the wounded creature behind the self-confident look, he could see the sadness behind the brightest smiles.

It sometimes scared him how much he could see things in her that others couldn't. If someone had accused him of having a strong sense of empathy, he would have advised that person to spend a few years in a comfortable strait jacket; but still, there was _something_. Something that he couldn't explain. Something that he didn't feel for other people.

Certainly, he could see it if his mother was sad or disappointed, he could see it if his father was disgruntled and he always noticed it when something troubled Butler, but those were different. These people were an open book, his parents could never really hide their emotions, and he knew Butler so well that even if the bodyguard had tried to hide his, it still wouldn't elude Artemis's attention. But Holly was different. She was hiding her feelings, at least most of the time. She showed it when she was happy, she showed it when she was angry (Artemis could remember it only too well, the fairy had punched him enough times for a lifetime), but her feelings about Julius Root she tried to hide.

To the rest of the world she was a happy detective who had rounded up two dozen criminals in the last two years and whom the LEP (with the exception of Ark Sool, of course) was constantly begging to return to them; but beneath all the layers of pretence, there was a broken Holly Short. One who had lost a father at the young age of 60, and had lost another at 82. She was truly an orphan now with no one to guard her and guide her… not that she would ever admit that sometimes she felt the need for it. She was too proud and too much of an individualist to admit that on lonely evenings she longed for a father to take her into his arms, give her a goodnight kiss and say 'I love you, Holly', or just give her advice on how to make her life better.

Young people find it most bothersome when their parents share their pieces of wisdom with them, but Holly wouldn't have minded it. Very likely she wouldn't have taken the advice, but she would at least have listened. And it would have felt nice to have someone to treat her as a child for a change. It would have felt nice to have a father to tell her off, to annoy her with his stories starting with 'things were different in _my_ youth…', and of course, to have a father just for the joy of having a father.

"You still think of him a lot," Artemis said after a long pause.

"How could I not?" she whispered bitterly, her chin resting on her drawn-up legs, her eyes stubbornly directed at the little stars of light swaying on the water's surface. "Do you have any idea…" She suddenly turned to face him, "do you have any idea what I'm feeling?"

"I do." He answered. "I felt the same loss when my father was missing."

"The _same_ loss?" she snapped. "It's not the same, Artemis! You knew your father wasn't dead! Or at least… you _hoped_." Her voice faltered. "For you there _was_ hope, for me… there's none. He won't come back. He… he can't come back." She looked away, tears brimming her eyes. She hated to look weak, especially in front of _him_. She wouldn't mind Foaly or Trouble or Mulch seeing her cry, but Artemis… that was different. With him, everything was different. She knew she could trust him, but she wasn't always sure she wanted to. Holly couldn't help but feel uncomfortable when she was displaying any sort of emotions in front of the Mud Boy. What was so different about him? Was it the fact that he was human? Or the fact that he was a genius?

What was so damn complicated about him?

She went rigid as she felt a hand on her shoulder. That hand was gentle and warm.

"I'm sorry," he said. "You're right, it was different with my father. Root won't come back. But do you think he would be happy to know that you're still crying over his death? After two years? Wouldn't he be disappointed?"

Holly sniffed and looked up at him. She had never seen so much sincerity and serenity in this young male's eyes.

"He wanted you to be happy. And he wanted you to serve the People. You have accomplished the latter wonderfully. But what about the former, Holly?"

"I don't know…" she muttered. "I'm trying, Artemis. I'm trying to be happy so bad that it hurts!"

He leaned closer, slipping his hand from her shoulder around her small frame. "Then don't try. Just let it happen. Happiness isn't something you can force yourself to feel. You can talk yourself into believing that you feel it, but it's only self-deception."

"No need to show me how brilliant you are in psychology," she grunted, knowing that she sounded like a petulant child. He was only trying to help, and she was shunning him… she felt ashamed.

"Believe it or not, for once, I wasn't trying to show-off." He shook his head with a sad but indulgent smile.

"I know, I just…" She couldn't finish the sentence, because an invisible hand again tried to compress her gullet.

As a silent response to her unspoken words, he pulled her even closer and closed her gently into his arms. She was so tiny and felt so fragile, he perceived. Not that he was much taller - at the age of 16 he was still considerably shorter than his peers.

When he'd initiated the hug, he had expected her to try and disentangle herself from it, to try and escape, but to his great surprise she wasn't showing any kind of resistance. On the contrary - she was clinging to him like her life depended on it.

As he observed the tiny being in his arms, Artemis felt something inexplicably warm and almost exhilarating. He couldn't have named the feeling, so he just revelled in it. Her head bent on his chest, her eyes closed, a few teardrops still glistening on her eyelashes, she looked angelic.

Tentatively he reached out with one hand and gently ran his thumb across her cheek. She let out a barely audible, contented sigh and nestled her head even more into his shirt, as though that was the safest and most comfortable place in the world. Not to mention that it had that unique and pleasant Artemis-scent…

Then, for a few seconds, something touched the top of her head - something warm that couldn't have been his hands, as one of them was resting on her waist while the other was caressing her cheek.

_His lips_, it flashed across her mind, making her sit bolt upright and open her eyes with a confused expression. What was happening here? Mud Boy holding her like a… what? Father? Or rather… a lover?

_Heavens, what am I thinking?_ - Her mind screamed, but her body couldn't move. Mud Boy's stare mesmerised her. _Isn't this supposed to be the other way around?_ - She thought helplessly.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

_Of course, everything's wrong, Mud Boy! Julius is long dead, I'm missing him like hell, I'm missing my old job with the LEP like hell too, and to cap it all, I'm sitting here, having your arms around me and letting you kiss me…!_ But aloud she only said: "No, everything's fine. Just stay with me, Artemis."

"I'll never leave you, Holly."

"Promise?" she whispered.

"Promise." He kissed her forehead in a would-be-fatherly-and-friendly way, but the next instant she was offering him her lips.

For a second he hesitated, but quickly decided to push all the doubts into the back of his mind. She needed comfort now, and he would do anything in his power to give it to her.

His mouth gently descended on hers in a slightly clumsy first kiss. Her lips tasted salty from the tears that had soaked her face. There was still something sweet in this salt-flavoured kiss. Perhaps because it was his first, perhaps because it happened with Holly.

After they parted, they were staring at each other for minutes without uttering a single word.

It was the fairy who broke the silence. "You know, Root wanted one more thing from me besides being happy and serving the People."

"What?"

"To save you. It was his last command. His last wish." She smiled sadly up on him. "And he couldn't have chosen a better last wish."

"Perhaps." Artemis shrugged, not wanting to sound too smug by saying 'you're absolutely right, Holly'. "The point is that he wanted you happy. And if you're happy, then he's happy too, wherever he is now."

"I really hope so," she whispered, bending her head back on his chest.

"Nice to hear the word 'hope' from you," he replied, running his fingers across her shoulder-length auburn stresses. After she'd left the LEP, she didn't need to wear a helmet anymore, so she could afford to let her hair grow out. Perhaps someday he'd mention it to her that he found her really pretty this way. Yeah, someday. "You know," he said, twirling one reddish curl around his index finger, "there's a saying _hope dies last_…"

If there was such a thing as Heaven for fairies, then at this moment Julius Root would have been shaking his head and tutting while looking down at the couple under the ancient oak tree. Tutting, but smiling indulgently.

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FIN

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**Author's note**: this was probably the saddest fic I've ever written. I can't help, that's what the Opal deception brought out in me. Colfer's fault, blame him. And review, please.  
Just so that you know, I'm proceeding with the sequel to the Aztec Incident, and I promise that it will not be as depressing as this one. Actually, in chapter two, Artemis and Holly are having a conversation under this very oak tree about a much more delighting thing ;)  
So far six chapters are written, but I expect the fic to be about as long as the Aztec Incident, so it will take me quite long to complete it. 


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